Stuff People Seem To Like #5: H1N1/Swine flu

Don’t get me wrong. People don’t really “like” swine flu, H1N1, but they sure are obsessed with it. I think I darn well might have it right now. Every respectable health source I’ve looked at seems to be indicating that the standard flu isn’t here yet and most cases of the flu that are surfacing right now are in fact H1N1. (Don’t quote me on that, however.)

I suppose I should go to the doctor, but what’s the point? The most I could hope for is a dose of Tamiflu and at this point, I’m not sure if it would really help. I’m just going to ride out this awful, awful storm. Now, you may be wondering what this flu experience is like. Here’s my personal experience with this mystery respiratory ailment:

On Monday night of this week, I started feeling chilly at the office. My coworkers reassured me that it was cold inside, I wasn’t getting sick, etc. But I felt like something was not quite right. I made it to work on Tuesday and  continued to worsen, but still wasn’t all that bad. It was raining pretty hard that night and I returned to my apartment soaking wet. After drying myself off, I collapsed into bed. By the next morning, Wednesday, I could hardly get out of bed. I was so sore, my chest was heaving and wheezing, and I was having trouble breathing. My tonsils were swollen and were collecting tonsil stones, which added to my sore throat. I hadn’t had this tonsil problem in probably a year. In short, I could barely make it the few feet across my quasi-loft apartment to contact my colleagues, much less go to work.

I’ve read unsubstantiated rumors that H1N1 attacks the lungs first, versus the upper respiratory tract as in most ailments. That seems to jive with my experience, as I’ve never heard my lungs wheeze like that before. It also theoretically  would make it pretty dangerous for people with athsma. The CDC advises people with lung problems to be cautious and seek help immediately if they come down with flu-like symptoms.

Anyway, I rode out Wednesday night and felt hungry, so I went out for a quick dinner and drinks (one alcoholic, two cranberry virgin). I felt fine, and thought the worst was over, but felt like collapsing as I walked across the street to my complex. That night was the worst of the worst, as I shivered nonstop for about eight hours. Thursday settled down a bit but I had no food or good drinks in my fridge, so I summoned the energy to go shopping that night. I made it back without too much trouble, but was pretty much a rock. On Friday, I decided that I would just take the day off and then ride out the weekend.

Unfortunately, my coworkers alerted me to the fact that Friday was also the deadline for health benefits election. This time, it was mandatory, no skirting, no exceptions. So I summoned my last reserve of energy and slowly trudged to work to do my benefits election. It became clear that I was not capable of making it through a full day of work. I had a terrible coughing fit and almost thought I might have a fit of vomiting. I calmed my queasy stomach and downed as much water as I could, and blew my nose and coughed until things settled down. Then I finished the deed on my computer, e-mailed myself some crucial notes and got the Dickens out of there. I thought it ironic that I had to put my health and others’ health at risk in order to get health benefits. Life is funny that way.

I’ve retraced my steps for the past week, trying to ascertain when I was exposed. I was around a lot of crowds the past weekend and could have theoretically picked something up at that time, but none of my compadres who I hung out with last weekend are feeling the way that I do. Thank God for that. So how did I get so sick? Hard to say, but I’ll be happy to have some semblance of immunity if I make it through this unscathed.

My consolation is that symptoms should be improving starting on days 4 and 5, namely this weekend. I doubt that I’ll be able to join friends and colleagues in partying it up, but hopefully things will be a bit more comfortable. Which is good, because I miss drinking beer and not having such a remarkably short fuse.

Did I mention the mood swings? I have felt horrible both physically and mentally. I am the kind of person that likes to live life to the fullest (yes) and to be in this kind of shape is torturous and causes my thoughts to drift in unhappy directions. I’m trying to think about joyous things, like looking over my vacation photos and planning future trips abroad. Anything to get my head in the clouds and out of the dumps. I’m certain that by the time I am better, I will be a new woman and I will be prepared to take the world by storm. Until then, I wait.

And there you have it. I have once again bared my soul, and perhaps shared too much about my innermost feelings, and I will probably apologize for something I wrote here. But hey, at least it’s cathartic. See you on the other side of the dark side of the moon, world.

Now you go chase that dream

I have had a case of the flu for the past few days and it’s gotten me down a bit, but it’s also given me a chance to think about things that are awesome. In particular, I was feeling Star Trekky the other morning (jotting down Captain’s Logs and calculating the actual stardate) when I saw the story of how infamous “last lecture” professor Randy Pausch loved the Trek universe. He got a cameo in the latest movie, even, as well as a small clip of his voice in the film.

Pausch got a signed photo and momentous quote from William Shatner, the prototypical edition of the elder James Tiberius Kirk:

Over the years, some of my sophisticated academic colleagues have turned up their noses at my Star Trek infatuation. But from the start, it has never failed to stand me in good stead.

After Shatner learned of my diagnosis, he sent me a photo of himself as Kirk. On it he wrote: “I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.”

I got to thinking about this guy who dealt with a terminal illness with so much courage and how I was sitting here miserable, thinking that this flu (probably H1N1, let’s not beat around the bush) may never go away. Paush did push-ups and all sorts of demonstrations of his strength during his 2007 speech. He was dead just a few months later. But he took that time in stride, carefully analyzing all the things he’d dreamed about doing as a child. He succeeded at a lot of things and would never get a chance to do others.

So, at the risk of sounding a bit dreary and morbid, I’d say let’s use every minute that we have healthy and alive. If I do sound a bit melancholy, blame this mysterious flu.

Stuff People Seem To Like #4: Elmo

Let’s pause here for a moment to let a little literary Elmo-nalysis seep in.

As we say Happy Anniversary to Sesame Street (well a few days ago), we can’t help but love Elmo. He’s the quintessential Sesame Workshop creation and an archetype of childlike wonder.

I meant to write this post sooner but haven’t been feeling the greatest. As my recovery from the flu presses on, I could use a hug from a shag-carpeted red puppet with a high-pitched voice. For you see, there is more to this falsetto-voiced creature than meets the eye.

Most people would say Elmo is an archetype for the childlike innocent. He is at once charming and non-threatening, with his ambiguous gender identification and nearly asexual being. Elmo may “love you,” but he will never love you. If you catch my drift. He is, in essence, a child stripped of the requisite naughtiness and heartlessness of unbridled youth, sort of an idealized baby that can talk rather than cry. The fact that he produces no waste products (that we know of) adds to Elmo’s charm.

That being said, people are eager to fuddle the innocence of Sesame Street. One of the most popular posts on my blog is the Sesame Street Thanksgiving, featuring a certain feathered friend offered up as a main dish.

Is Elmo really so innocent? His fur is red, bright red, a color symbolizing passion — both for love and war. He really loves people. He is male-gendered.Perhaps the expression should not be “make love not war” but rather, “love Elmo, not war.”

Perhaps Elmo is all of these things at once, symbolizing our innocent hopes and dreams as well as the passion and zeal we feel both for life and other people. I cannot argue with the simultaneous poignancy and surreality of Sesame Street, when all is said and done. Elmo may have ambiguous taxonomy, but his love for humanity is unquestionable.

Stuff People Seem To Like #3: Bacon

Mmmmm… bacon. This fatty swine-derived product is suddenly America’s little darling.

It’s not clear when the obsession began, but I started noticing my coworkers’ purchases of bacon-scented air fresheners and bacon-infused donuts. Bacon costumes appeared at the Dragon*Con geek fest and on Halloween. I took a tour of a cave near Chattanooga, Tennessee, and the tour guide was quick to point out a bacon-shaped rock formation. Bacon-wrapped dates and a BaconFest at Dad’s Garage, a local improv theater, are some other baconizations to chew on.

Could it be a knee-jerk reaction to all this talk about healthy eating and vegetarianism? It’s like there are two factions in contemporary popular culture: complete veg and meat-o-rama. To take a moderate road is to be a fool.

In any case, bacon is pretty good in measured amounts. Scientists are quick to reassure you that your breakfast will not give you the dreaded Swine Flu, also known as H1N1 (I’ve sunk your battleship!).  So, of course it’s good for you. I’ll have some bacon on occasion. The gristly goodness and crispy, smoky deliciousness makes it just about the only kind of pork that I will knowingly eat. Maybe it’s time I was beggin’ for bacon.

Stuff People Seem To Like #2: Twitter

Twitter is the Hot New Thing right now. Actually, no, it’s not.

There seems to be some confusion over the novelty of Twitter, and some speculation as to why middle-aged folks have flocked to it while in theory younger people are attached to Facebook. (And then there’s the folks in the middle, who dabble in both if they can muster the interest.)

Hold on to your Fail Whale T-shirts, folks, because this site is with us whether we like it or not.

I think most people are ambivalent. Twitter is like a bulletin board for mobile communication, but it has a lot of other users and people don’t really agree on what they use the site for. Different apps and habits are at play, creating a tension in the community that is both vibrant and intimidating.

I get a little bit of anxiety every time I post a tweet because it’s hard to know what’s going to happen and under what circumstances people will be reading it. At times, it can be very tempting to rattle off a random thought or go off on a rant, or to announce one’s state of inebriation. Getting a reply is almost always a relief for me because then I know that the message has been received. The low barrier to entry facilitates this kind of impulsivity. But giving two-way conversation is very difficult, and it always feels as if one is showing off when one replies to another. I admittedly prefer to respond to tweets on Facebook, where it feels  a little more personal. Separation of the Twitter Church from the Facebook State is still in effect at this time, but I may change my mind.

There’s a potential for an awkward situation when tweets cross over from Internet to real-life conversation. It’s fine to tell someone you enjoyed their tweet, but I would say real-life critical discussion of one’s online behavior is a definite no-no unless you are prepared to suffer the awkward consequences.

There are people who take this communication medium much more seriously than I, and sit for hours replying and live-tweeting their lives away. It is a use more comparable to instant messaging. Depending on the app shell you have, this will look and behave differently to you. Me, I think I would be a bit self-conscious about living this way.

I don’t know what else to say. I guess I’ll leave the leadership and official commentary to the social media gurus steering this awkward ship.

Note: I’ve engaged in a little self-editing here, as I feel that I might have come off a bit harsher than I was picturing it in my head. The irony that I posted this post on Twitter was not lost on me.

Stuff People Seem To Like #1: Cougars

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the first in a series of snapshots into what makes our culture tick: our strange obsessions with odd or silly things.

Cougars are hot right now. I’m not talking about the furry kind in the feline family; I’m talking about older women who purr like a kitten when a younger suitor comes around.

It’s not really clear what started this phenomenon. The first I heard about them started after a late-night discussion about some men’s preference for older women. I know of a few guys who subscribe to this type of thing. Shortly after that discussion, cougars were everywhere. On the news, on TV, in my Twitter feed, you name it. Somebody call Animal Control! I have to wonder if men now feel some kind of subconscious pressure to go for that aging vixen beckoning them from the bar. They do die sooner, after all, and age less gracefully. (I realize this is a gross generalization.)

Or, is this just one of those fads that won’t last very long?

And is a woman who seeks out a younger man really a predator? Or is she simply a woman who wants a more youthful countenance? So many cultural stereotypes are at play here. We will think nothing of an older man who seeks out a younger woman. That’s the way of things, and men are less mature after all.

Chew on that, cougars, there’s more meat where that comes from.

Organization calls

There are times that I clearly feel like life is telling me something, and now is one of those times. I’ve been told over and over again that I’m disorganized, I need to grow up, whatever. And the fact is, that I truly do need to become a more organized person. It’s finally catching up to me as my work becomes ever more complex and I get older and life just gets complicated in general. I’ve tried and failed many times but I feel like if I can make an effort now, in time I will finally be successful.

I’ve had some degree of success already. After months and months of working and working at it, I finally got my eating and exercise habits under relative control. I’m finally starting to see some results from that effort, both in my physical stamina and the fact that I’m comfortably wearing jeans today that I couldn’t wear a few months ago. I’m no longer craving ridiculous portions of food and things are generally OK.

And now, I realize that if I am ever to advance in this life and successfully become who I want to be, organization is basically my only choice. Drawing on my health habits for inspiration, I am going to make an effort to fix my problems and take control of things.

Starting now, I commit myself to do the following things every day:

• Spend about 30 minutes per evening reading the news
• Keep a journal and know what I’m doing the next day
• Read 5 pages of literature per day
• Keep my laptop closed from midnight to 6 a.m.
• Shower before bed rather than in the morning
• Have clothes, bags, etc., planned out before sleeping
• Have two alarms set to wake me in the morning
• Write in my blog every day if possible
• Work on something creative
• Give work my undivided attention
• Do something to expand my skills EVERY day
• Ask people lots of questions, which I often forget to do

It’s going to be difficult, but I must slay this monster within me. I must take control of my life.

Fall is here. Now to figure out a costume.

Hard-knock life

Originally uploaded by N-Sai

The weekend before this current one, I went with coworkers to a corn maze in North Georgia. We had to go through and find the photos of pumpkins. If we matched all the pictures to the pictures on the cards we were given at the start, indicated by writing down the name of the pumpkin, we could get ice cream at the end. The maze itself was easily exited, but we did have to go through and find the things. And, you know, get into the fall spirit. Another thing we did was take pictures of kittens and cats a-go-go, such as the one in the photo. The kittens were very tiny and the mother had an eye problem. Still cute.

We also saw some falls for the fall in the Tallulah Gorge state park. I read that it was at one point a top tourist attraction in the South. The visitor center was nice, as was the view and the nice almost-changed leaf-peeping experience. We didn’t find much to eat, however, and went back to the ATL to fill our famished bellies, exhausted from climbing all those freaking stairs down to see the suspension bridge and the water.

Now I’m mulling my Halloween plans (more travel? I must be nutzy) and what I’m going to costume myself as. I posted a bunch of themes on Facebook and have even more now: some kind of two-party political thing with donkey and elephant parts, Mod Squad, Clockwork Orange, lolcat, fairy with giant wins, tooth fairy, The Economy, modernist art, postmodernism, a hippie, Michael jackson, Kanye West, Balloon Girl, Internet Meme-a-palooza (crasher squirrel, Kanye, lolcats, you name it), a computer, an iPhone, a Google phone, the Twitter bird, a fail whale, a scrabble board, a keyboard, a social network, something from Alice in Wonderland, omg I don’t even know what I could be. Mom even suggested the Mona Lisa and I was intrigued at what could be done with that. There is no limit to my imagination, only to my artistic abilities and wherewithal.

What I did in London: Impressions of an American Werewolf

25 points

Originally uploaded by N-Sai

I’m going to tick someone off, and rightly so, but my recent taste of the UK gave me the impression that London is just like a city in the United States, but maybe a little wackier and a little hipper. Am I wrong? Then again, the UK has yielded things like Are You Being Served?, much of PBS programming in general, Monty Python, Mr. Bean and Thomas the Tank Engine (and Ringo Starr). Paris, on the other hand, can claim Babar and Madeleine. That should give you an idea of my experience.

I arrived on a Eurostar a few days into my trip across the pond and for the most part I was thoroughly relieved to be around people who in theory speak the same language as me. Mind you, all that “Feeling peckish?” and “lift” and “Mind the Gap” stuff was a constant reminder that I was no longer in Kansas, but things were familiar enough that I was OK with being so far from “home,” wherever that might be nowadays.

As I sit here in Arizona typing this post, I am a little floored at the culturedness of London. Its Tube underground, while crowded and filled with people who are walking way too fast and stressing way too much about missing trains that come every two minutes, is pretty good and pretty useful as long as you’re not handicapped. The whole city is pretty and cultured. The food is tasty. There are literally things to do and see around every corner. There aren’t so many skyscrapers and it’s not nearly so urbane as New York, but it is very hip and the open-air markets are a nice change. A lot of my impressions about London were wrong for the most part. The weather was nicer (still a bit chilly, but pleasantly so) and the people were all about being outdoors. It wasn’t that foggy (certainly not like San Francisco) and colorful things could be seen everywhere. The people have a delightfully wacky sense of humor and you just get the sense that culture is brimming from every chimney.

Now for the weird stuff: I got really tired of climbing stairs. Sooooo many stairs. It was really bad. There were a few escalators but in general walking around London left me hurting really bad during the trip and for about a week after. I think I’m still feeling some residual effects now that two weeks have elapsed. If you wanted to go to the restroom you had to go downstairs or upstairs (true of Paris as well) and there was just a lot of stair climbing to do.

I had a strange hotel room. Trying to find a place to stay was not easy but I found something. Coming from an odd hotel in Paris, I was sure that anything else would be normal, but I was wrong. I found a place that was safe enough, close to transit at St. Pancras and in general convenient as all hell. It even had a fresh English breakfast each morning consisting of eggs, sausage, toast, tea, juice, grilled tomato, baked beans, etc. That was a plus. But it was a strange room. I had to take the stairs to the third floor. The hallways were narrow and split by fire doors that you had to go through, and then the room itself was pretty small. The bathroom was elevated up onto a platform. My sink had separate hot and cold faucets so that your hands would never be comfortable when washing. There was no phone or clock in the room, and so no wake-up call of any sort, but there was free wi-fi. Still, not too bad, I guess. Could have been worse, and it was clean. The strange hotels are part of the travel experience methinks.

Oh yeah, so what did I see? My first stop before heading to bed was Piccadilly Circus, which had glittery neon and gawdy shops and the Trocadero mall with its weirdness and its danged pay toilets. I found an awesome souvenir shop that sold killer merch; I returned the next day to buy something and the store had been closed and completely stripped of its goods. In the morning and on the next day, I visited everything you’re supposed to: Walked by the London Eye, Parliament House, Westminster Abbey, the Changing of the Guard, St. James’s Park, Hyde Park, the Marble Arch, the Tower of London, the Tower Bridge, the Tate Modern and the Globe Theater. Bridges were everywhere and it was awesome. I took a side trip to Camden Town, which is like Atlanta’s Little Five Points on a much grander scale, and grabbed some gelato amidst the open-air markets of Notting Hill (which is sort of like Decatur, GA, on a much grander scale). Open-air markets are the thing in London. Before I left, I dropped by Turner House to pay a short visit to some of my colleagues in distant lands. To arrive at a satellite office of my workplace when so far from home was a very strange feeling. I had also browsed some neighborhoods and had Persian-Chinese fusion cuisine. Trafalgar Square was nice, as was its view of Big Ben. I liked the wacky charm of Soho and the international flavor of Chinatown. All in all, so much to see and do! I’d like to go back and see everything I missed.

It was a good trip and full of good humor and great underground art. At left is a Scrabble sign posted on a building in Notting Hill. It’s so pretty and hip in London. I want to go back and explore the UK, especially Scotland. I also want to see Ireland. So we’ll see. I also want to go to Spain, Italy, Germany, Greece, Switzerland, EVERYWHERE. Lord help me. Thanks for reading.

What I did in Paris: In-Seine in the Membrane

DSCN7210

Originally uploaded by N-Sai

I departed for Paris on September 24, 2009. I arrived at 8 a.m. the next day after a layover in Philadelphia and an ensuing 8-hour flight, plus the 6-hour time change. After fumbling around for a bit at Roissypole and then crashing in Room 666 at my very strange little Parisian hotel, I was well on my way. The first night, I went all the way to the top of the Eiffel Tower and looked out the window. Great view from the top.

After a good night of rest, I visited things such as Notre Dame cathedral, the Louvre, the Montemartre butte and Moulin Rouge, Arc de Triomphe, the Pantheon, the outside of the Montparnasse cemetery, parks, cafes, McDonald’s and KFC. You can buy beer everywhere, even at the fast food places, and it’s a lot cheaper than paying 4 Euros for a Coke.

I wandered around the Pompidou Centre and strolled down the cobblestone streets of the Marais and other neighborhoods. Good times. I left for London in the middle on the Eurostar and returned to spend one more night. Unfortunately, the Catacombs appeared to be closed due to vandalism.

The Metro was my primary form of transit and it did me right except when I really needed it to be on time; and it was during these times it screwed me over.

My last night I had a weird hotel that had slanty walls but was otherwise pretty nice, so I could forgive the strangeness. On the way out, as I said, I had some Metro and RER issues that resulted in my almost missing my flight to Philadelphia. But I made it, and here I am.

People say the French people are mean and whatever, but I found them to be more helpful and less crazy than the British. My biggest gripe was with the high cost of beverages and things in general. The Euro is very strong, and a four-Euro cola comes out to about six bucks. It’s like the whole region of Europe is one giant ballpark when it comes to buying a beverage. I guess a small “price to pay” if you will, for a nice trip and a “Seine” of good things to come with international travel.