Absurdity report

Weird stuff is everywhere, man. At the risk of sounding like I’m mocking other individuals’ preferences and circumstances, and that’s not really the goal here, there have been a few odd things I’ve seen in the last few days (and in between, a few details from my daily life):

• Someone was really cranking up the bass on their classical music the other day.
• In a 20-minute span, I was panhandled on the train by a woman with a mustache and a mute man carrying a sign saying, “Help me, I’ve been in a train wreck. Please give me your cash.”
• Wayne’s World and Wayne’s World 2 were on sale together for $10. That was an absurdly good deal.
• While at Arby’s trying to get breakfast in my early-morning Sunday stupor, we had some super/deluxe issues. For you see, I asked for the Roast Beef Deluxe, but that apparently doesn’t exist, but I could have sworn it did. “You want the super roast beef?” asks the clerk, and I reply, “I want the one with lettuce and tomatoes.” The other clerk chimes in, “You want the beef and swiss?” And I say no, I just want the beef sandwich with the lettuce and tomatoes. “Oh, you want market fresh?” And I respond, “Well, actually I just wanted a roast beef sandwich with lettuce and tomatoes. I was really asking for the super roast beef, even though I said I wanted the roast beef deluxe. I guess I was a little confused, but that’s what I meant.” So the clerk says to the other clerk, “She wants the super roast beef. She thought there was a roast beef deluxe.” I suppose this story would have had a better ending if they had given me chicken cordon bleu or something, but hey, they gave me what I asked for and that is awesome.
• Chicken bones. What is it with chicken bones in Atlanta? Everywhere I go, I see them, like people are munching on chicken wings all the time and then discarding them about their ambient environment. I guess it’s a little different in the crazy old desert, where chicken is just a potential ingredient and iced tea is not sweetened by default. Here, it’s a cultural thing. Chicken, chicken, chicken. But you know, maybe they have a point. Good chicken *is* hard to find. I mean, those hot wings I had at the Hooters casino were nasty/disgusting. At least I’ll  not be having that problem here.
• The Best Buy clerk asked me for my ID and I forked over my AZ license (Note to self: Get to DMV, stat) and she said, “I’ve never met anyone from Arizona before. Is it really as hot over there as they say it is?” I told her, it’s the difference between cooking yourself in an oven or a steamer. You’re cooked either way, but it feels a little different, you know. Actually, I hear it’s about 109 for the high in PHX, which is somewhat warmer than normal.

I think that about covers it. You’ll see that I have a love for bullet points. They rule.

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