Absurdity report

18 06 2007

Weird stuff is everywhere, man. At the risk of sounding like I’m mocking other individuals’ preferences and circumstances, and that’s not really the goal here, there have been a few odd things I’ve seen in the last few days (and in between, a few details from my daily life):

  • Someone was really cranking up the bass on their classical music the other day.
  • In a 20-minute span, I was panhandled on the train by a woman with a mustache and a mute man carrying a sign saying, “Help me, I’ve been in a train wreck. Please give me your cash.”
  • Wayne’s World and Wayne’s World 2 were on sale together for $10. That was an absurdly good deal.
  • While at Arby’s trying to get breakfast in my early-morning Sunday stupor, we had some super/deluxe issues. For you see, I asked for the Roast Beef Deluxe, but that apparently doesn’t exist, but I could have sworn it did. “You want the super roast beef?” asks the clerk, and I reply, “I want the one with lettuce and tomatoes.” The other clerk chimes in, “You want the beef and swiss?” And I say no, I just want the beef sandwich with the lettuce and tomatoes. “Oh, you want market fresh?” And I respond, “Well, actually I just wanted a roast beef sandwich with lettuce and tomatoes. I was really asking for the super roast beef, even though I said I wanted the roast beef deluxe. I guess I was a little confused, but that’s what I meant.” So the clerk says to the other clerk, “She wants the super roast beef. She thought there was a roast beef deluxe.” I suppose this story would have had a better ending if they had given me chicken cordon bleu or something, but hey, they gave me what I asked for and that is awesome.
  • Chicken bones. What is it with chicken bones in Atlanta? Everywhere I go, I see them, like people are munching on chicken wings all the time and then discarding them about their ambient environment. I guess it’s a little different in the crazy old desert, where chicken is just a potential ingredient and iced tea is not sweetened by default. Here, it’s a cultural thing. Chicken, chicken, chicken. But you know, maybe they have a point. Good chicken *is* hard to find. I mean, those hot wings I had at the Hooters casino were nasty/disgusting. At least I’ll  not be having that problem here.
  • The Best Buy clerk asked me for my ID and I forked over my AZ license (Note to self: Get to DMV, stat) and she said, “I’ve never met anyone from Arizona before. Is it really as hot over there as they say it is?” I told her, it’s the difference between cooking yourself in an oven or a steamer. You’re cooked either way, but it feels a little different, you know. Actually, I hear it’s about 109 for the high in PHX, which is somewhat warmer than normal.

I think that about covers it. You’ll see that I have a love for bullet points. They rule.