Gazhundheit?

11 07 2007

I got another weird train story for ya. Eventually I’m going to have to find something else to write about but these are pretty funny so I’m gonna telling ’em as long as I gots ’em. So I’m riding on a crowded to the gills train this morning and I spot one open seat next to an odd guy. We’ll call him OG for short. He was slightly odd. And so am I. So I have sympathy. So he seems relatively harmless; I mean he’s making nervous gestures and wiping himself feverishly with a white washcloth, but that’s nothing I can’t handle.

Then I notice that he’s sneezing and blowing his nose or wiping his nose/mouth area with this cloth, and then, for some inconceivable reason, he’s wiping this cloth on an empty seat to the side of him. Essentially, he is smearing gook from his oral-nasal area onto the seat via washcloth. This is kind of driving me nuts. And then, he proceeds to pas gas in a very obvious manner. It made a funny-sounding noise, and I kind of smiled and giggled. WHOOPS! Oops! I shouldn’t have done that. Dang. I haven’t evolved to the point where I can remain maintain stoic countenance even as flatulence occurs around me. So I pull a book out and proceed to attempt to read it and distract myself from this guy and his wiping. As I’m reading, I feel little drops of wetness dripping on me. My first thought is, Oh, God, is he leaking bodily fluids on me? And then I realized it was just condensation from the air conditioner. Whew. Wait. Actually, ick. This is a train we’re talking about.

And… that’s the story. Sorry folks, that’s all for now. Tune in next time for Train Stories II: The Passenger of Azkaban.

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2 responses

11 07 2007
Matt Adams

I note that you say that he’s odd and so are you, yet draw no comparison when it comes to him being harmless… o_O

It’s a good thing that the AC (three-sixty) is leaking, as it’s clear that this trainline is constantly stewing in boogers and manbatter. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww. The next time I’m in Snotlanta I’m definitely getting a rental car!

12 07 2007
Nicole

AC (three sixty) — a good one that set my mind a-clatter.

EEEEWWW indeed. The leaking aids in cleansing. I don’t know if it’s so much “stewing” as it is “lightly coated,” much like fried chicken in a spiced batter.

Honestly, I’m not so sure about rental cars being cleaner. Some people really trash those things and use them for things they would never use their car for, or the train for that matter.

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