Bleed American

7 09 2007

So where have I been all my life? Or at least this past week or so. That’s a good question. The answer is I’m currently ready to start sleeping off a long week. See, it’s Labor Day week and that means … you know what that means. So recent highlights include:

  • Working some heavy hours due to reduced holiday staffing and a desire to keep things at a reasonably productive level
  • Celebrating the contributions of the Working Man to the United States of America over Labor Day weekend by
    • A. Working (To be honest, everything is either closed or crowded, so I don’t mind working on this kind of holiday.)
    • B. Checking out the Dragon*Con (sci-fi/fantasy/anime/Star Trek/everything convention).
  • Riding the train home from work on Sunday and meeting a guy covered in fake blood holding a sign that says “free hugs”
  • Watching that guy and another guy not only engage in physical contact of the friendly-male sort, but also eat some of the bloodstuff
  • Finding out that the blood has a strawberry-mint essence
  • Getting “evil energy” drinks for free
  • Waiting in line
  • Fighting my way through crowds
  • Eating tasty Willy’s Mexican Grille chow in an eating area full of Storm Troopers
  • Watching a storm trooper trying to buy sundries in the souvenir shop without removing their costume.
  • Watching a storm trooper rip his helmet off in disgust and say to the security guard telling him to go to the other door: “Awwww, man!”
  • Not being able to tell friend from foe from security guard because everybody looks evil and weapons-equipped
  • That guy dressed as a robot with a cardboard codpiece made out of an Apple Macintosh box.

I like codpieces. They’re the best part of Ren Faires, which are otherwise typically hot, dusty, expensive and generally difficult, with often nightmarish traffic.

There’s a certain society in these Cons (at least this one) and it can be a little odd for people like me who feel sort of like outsiders. On the other hand, I saw a good deal of people doing Cosplay that wasn’t really true sci-fi or fantasy. There were Spartan cheerleaders, and I couldn’t count the number of “Clerks 2” work uniforms and Silent Bob wannabes. (Granted, there is a tiny bit of geekery present in these fandoms)

I think a funny storyline for a movie (of the cheesy romantic comedy sort) would be a person who tries to geek themself out to attract someone. I mean think about the humorous possibilities of Joe Cool…

[Pause to kill speedy roach intruder. Seriously.]

…trying to learn about D&D and putting on a fur suit at a convention. I think it would be totally sweet. Hell, I’m going to write it up.

It’s about time I got back to work on the Great American Novel. Until later, I bid you adieu. Anyway why am I dinking around on teh Internets at 3 a.m.? Shame on me.




3 responses

7 09 2007
Matt Adams

“Reasonably productive” by whose standards? Dragon*Con sounds kind of interesting, though. I’ve got a tale or two about going to a con and feeling like an outsider…even though I’m a total insider on geek knowledge. This happens a lot at comic book conventions.

Comic Book Guy on The Simpsons? There’s a reason why he’s stuck around for this long. There are people like that at cons and comic stores to this day.

…although I’m now contemplating Willy’s Mexican Stormtroopers. The Empire must be outsourcing the cloning to Mexico.

10 09 2007

…By my standards. There’s things that have to get done, and I had to be the one to do them. That’s not to say I’m always going to do that, but on occasion it’s fine.

Are they good stories? I’d be interested in hearing about them. I truly was an outsider, it was amazing.

I imagine that outsourcing combined with cloning could result in some very hard-to-understand overseas customer service reps.

10 09 2007
Matt Adams

I too know the hell of high personal standards/hygiene. Sure, it sounds great to be surrounded by wankstas (“think of how efficient you’ll look!”), but in reality it’s just more work. And I look pretty darn good as it stands, thankyouverymuch.

Customer service reps from the outsourced cloning all say the same sh*t anyway… =D

The relative goodness of my stories depends on the company. I was outlining my Friday evening to someone the other day and it was basically just the facts. I described it to my brother earlier tonight and it sounded like an epic tale of triumph and romance. So…if you’re a good listener, they’re good stories.

Shall I regale you with some via internets or save the good stuff for your next visit? ^_~

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