Thinking at the speed of light

24 06 2010

You surely know by now that the one thing that gets me back to this blog time and time again is those moments when I have so much passion or zest for life (or an aspect of life) that it kind of spills out and I have to express it. And, when I can’t sleep.

Right now I can’t put my finger on it, but I’m feeling especially creative and also hungry for knowledge. Other people have noticed this and commented on it, so it can’t just be my imagination and I know it’s fairly obvious to anyone who knows me well.

This is very exciting for me, because I fought a certain intellectual apathy for much of my teen years and into my early to mid-20s. Granted, this apathy was necessary in order to get me out of the house and socializing with other people and growing up and working at the college paper and getting a job and learning to conform to society. Now that I’ve done some of that (some), and I’ve got some of the external things figured out, I think I’m returning to the world inside my skull and filling it back up with the imagination and enthusiasm of my youth, as well as my bookworm tendencies. People used to think of me as a bookworm, but I don’t think that I have that reputation anymore, because I’m not. And so this kind of revisiting of what makes you who you are is what is necessary to become a whole person — to focus inside and out as well. I think I do a fairly OK job of balancing these competing concepts of self, but I can always get better.

Enough with the introspection, already. What this translates to is, I’ve got more passion for everything and more ability to absorb knowledge around me. At work, yeah. I’m fired UP. That’s fired UP, people. At home, yeah. Lately I’ve been hashing out plot synopses (about a page long) for stories I’d like to write. Many of these synopses are really stories in and of themselves that can be taken at face value. In the past I’ve found these sorts of things difficult to envision, but lately the trajectory of a tale is much easier to contemplate. I’ve learned to read new scripts and languages; I’ve boosted my brainz, and heck, I’ve never been so creative or focused. Granted, this is me we’re talking about.

I think I’m just growing up.

I’m even managing to have healthier eating/exercise habits and, off and on, cooking for myself and keeping my place clean. And socializing and going outside and doing things and traveling. Life is good, man. I may not have a glamorous existence, I may not live in the most amazing city or the coolest ‘hood, I may not have lots of money, I may not be powerful, I may not be suave, I may have my flaws (many), I may have my issues, but you know what? I’m a happy camper. Most of the time, I truly enjoy my imperfect, wonderful life.

And I’ve always known — believed — had no choice but to assume — that one must consume in order to produce. Often times, I’ve been out of whack, leaning to one side or the other of that scale. But right now, I’m in a rare equilibrium between desire to take in data and desire to spit it out. I’m born to be a storyteller, I know it, and it may just be the one and only thing that I know how to do in any medium or platform.

In the coming days, expect to see me delve into aspects of culture and things I’m thinking about or exploring.

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